Solitary
by BlackHeartSaiyuki
Summary: Hello my name is Raelyn Ravenscroft and this is my story of how the boy i loved, was the one who ruined me Non maryjane Draco fic.
1. Solitary

Well this is my first fanfic so be nice please. Anyway it is a harry potter one as you can tell and constructive criticism is welcome, if your criticizing and it is not helpful then you suck. Also I based the character kinda on me, its mostly my life, but a different body and the mind set and the way things are worded are uniquely my characters. Well later dayz,

Raelyn!

**Chapter 1,**

**Solitary Existence.**

To be Staring Once again at the giant magic double doors of Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry with the sparkling moon reflected behind it I understand again, how very alone I truly am. Hello my dear reader. My name is Raelyn Ravenscroft I am 5'4 with permanently charmed black hair with red streaks. I hated the brown color, full lips, slim frame, but as most people would say I am just the right size and this is my story of how I, lonelier than the werewolves that reside here (who won't come near me by the way) fell from the graces of the wizarding world.

And it is all do to one boy, one Draco Lucian Malfoy. You see he used me as a pawn in his twisted little game of keeping out of the dark lords grasp. Come, follow me to see how I cam to be in this hollow solitary Existence.

Short I know, the first two are, but I couldn't really add more you know? Anyway please tell me what you think.


	2. Beginning

**Chapter 2,**

**Beginning.**

As a beginning let me tell you I do not hate Draco for what he has done, I loved him when he did it and I still love him now, He does not scorn my existence as everyone else does. But maybe that is because he knows what really happened. What I really did, or didn't (depending on your opinion) do. But I am getting ahead of myself. I should start at the beginning, the time I met draco.


	3. Horrible secrets make great Friends

**Chapter 3,**

**Horrible secrets make great Friends.**

I moved here fifth year only a few days before my 15th birthday. Because I was born in September I am a bit younger than the rest of my class. As I started school a week late I had to be sorted by the hat in dumbledor's office. I found the old ma extremely interesting the twinkling eyes, and knowing smile, I had a feeling he knew more than I did and that that knowledge would come back to haunt me, but at the time I did not know how true that feeling would become.

Anyway back to being sorted, as I was sitting there the hat was saying so many trivial things in my head mostly along the lines of wisdom, and cunning, perfect Slytherin. And a pure heart too, that quality is not so Slytherin but too much of you shows that side, Slytherin it is! I then sat there for a few minutes after the hat was removed not really knowing what this meant. And then Professor Snape came to take me to the Slytherin common room.

I guess what it meant though was that I was stuck with a bunch of snobby prats screaming "pure-bloods shall rule during the dark lords reign" They said it in such whiney voices that I just wanted to choke them. Even draco did it, but, it seemed he did it more out of necessity rather than actually giving a crap. In fact later on he confessed to me how much he desperately hated his family, His mother actually loved him and he her, his father though was a different story all together. A cruel one too. Maybe I will get to it one day but not this one. Anyway going back to the snobs of Slytherin.

Because they all treated me like a disease I was given my own room. Merlin knows what would have happened to me if I had stayed in the normal 5th year girls commons. That is about where is started, Draco called me an enigma one day while we were paired together for potions. That was probably because I was perfect in all my classes, apparently better even then the golden trio's Braniac Hermione. She was nice, a bit too timid though. But I was also sly enough to get half-ass work past the teachers for full points. Even Mcgonnagal who pays so much attention to detail im surprised she doesn't spell our work to find even the most minute of problems, always gave me full credit points. That is why Draco called me an enigma, that and also because I did not care wether I was a pure-blood or not.

To him I was also interesting, we two were always close at the beginning. He also thought I was pretty as he told me later on that I was just the right size. For what I still don't know. But knowing Draco he more than likely told me that to make me think. He constantly challenges me in strangely muggle ways. He loved to challenge me at potions the most though. He is as you should know Snape's favorite student and Draco and I constantly tried to gain his attention. One day while we were "secretly" ruining each others potions we seemed to become friends. As Draco turned to me and asked.

"What drives you, why are you always trying to be the best?"

I was surprised at the question, it was something I had always wanted some one to ask so they could understand but no one ever did. And he was the one I never really expected to ask. So I just turned to him with a slightly sad smile and replied.

"My parents," I said, " they always pushed me into things I hardly want to do and if I do, like coming to Hogwarts, they push me even harder to be perfect," At this I stopped and looked him in the eyes.

"Sometimes I just wish they would beat me instead of putting me through the mental anguish they so love to torture me with. That I could take, that wouldn't hurt me, not as much as it does now."

When I finished saying that I pulled back the sleeve of my school robes and showed the old puffy, red, scars. "Pain doesn't hurt anymore, when it's all you've ever felt."

Draco just smiled at that and he pulled my sleeve back down, and staring into his potion said "you've never had to deal with magical beatings. Not like I have."

I watched him and smiled, the rest of the class passed without incident and we both managed to save our potions before time ran out. But Draco and I knew something about each other no one else knew, That love was a source of both our pains, and because of that we became true friends through our truly horrible secrets.

And that is the end of chapter 3, see I told you they would get longer. Anyway im sorry my thoughts are so scattered as you can see they all connect at one point, but my brain goes in 20 different directions at one time and I cant focus too well for very long. Anyway until next time. Later dayz,

Raelyn!


	4. Serpent Swords

**Chapter 4,**

**Serpent Swords.**

Just because I am a title whore you should know this Acrucius is mine. I came up with the word, I don't mind if you use it just ask first.

After that day draco and I seemed inseparable. I taught him how to deal with Crucio when his father put him on him, a simple spell called Acrucius, this dulls the pain for you. To the castor it seemed you were still suffering horribly on the outside but to yourself it felt like you were just being pinched in millions of places. And Draco taught me how to deal with the mental pain, he taught me how to block out the wants and demands of my parents so I could focus on myself and be happy. I know that seems selfish on my part but if you knew more about my family you would understand. Basically I give and give and give to my parents and all I ask is to be left alone and given some space.

But that never happens so I had to block them out. This was only the beginning though, soon we were training with each other, I was interested in the dark arts and he was taught them his whole life so he taught me that, and I taught him about muggles and some things in herbology. In the beginning he told me it was to 'know thy enemy' but in truth he loved muggles and thought them fascinating.

Because of all the time we spent together neither of us wanted to go home for the summer. We wanted to spend our days working together in class and our nights training or talking with each other. So in order to keep in tough better then using owls he and I made a necklace for each other on the outside it looked like just a simple black and green sword with a snake curled around it. But on the back was carved the name of the person who had the opposite sword or the person you wanted to see. This was so all you had to do was think of that person and say the name on the opposite necklace out loud then come see me. And the person who cast the spell was automatically taken to the person who they wanted to see.

Because of this I was able to attend a grand ball at malfoy manor, and I could take Draco to a muggle movie, and a dance club. That was the best summer he and I have ever had. I was able to escape my overbearing parents, and he got out of visiting Azkaban to go see his father. But all the fun seemed to end when, in our sixth year, his fathers debts of getting caught and thrown in Azkaban had to be paid.

Whoooo cliffy heh. I really liked the end of this chapter, it was something I have always been going for, happy and then totally fucked. Anyway next chapter another time. Later dayz,


	5. My Dragon can't escape

**Chapter 5,**

**My Dragon Can't Escape.**

It was a cool night only 2 months after we started going out. An elegant snow white owl with what appeared to be a black serpent design on its feathered chest flew in through the window holding its leg out toward Draco. I was struck with a sense of dread but pushed it away, nothing could happen to my dragon could it? But when he went to pull the parchment off he was sucked away. For a few minutes I couldn't move, I couldn't believe what I had just seen. But when I was able to control my body again I rushed to pick up the fallen parchment. On it were dripping, scrolling letters in blood red ink that said,

"You are mine little dragon, you cannot escape me. And I'll make sure of that tonight. I hope your ready." At the end it was signed with a flourish,

"Sincerely yours, Lord Voldemort."

At the time I had not known much about the wizarding world but I knew this was bad, and I was so happy that Draco and I had decided to keep the necklaces we had given each other. So I stood there and tried to summon myself to him but it wouldn't work! I was terrified by this point, the spell was strong because we had both cast it ourselves and it would last forever no matter what. So doing the only thing I could think of I grabbed the fallen parchment and the owl and I ran straight to Dumbledor's office as if my life, and Draco's, depended on it.

Short I know but I like it. Again respond I am a response whore lol, later dayz,


	6. Dark Abyss, Unknown Destination

**Chapter 6,**

**Dark Abyss, Unknown Destination.**

As soon As I got to the gargoyle statue I saw the golden trio rushing in too. So I took the opportunity and just went up behind them, although I doubt they noticed me at the time. But I really didn't care all that mattered was draco. When they burst into the office I saw Dumbledore with that twinkle in his eye but it somehow seemed sad, and I _knew_, That it was directed toward me.

Putting that aside I pushed in front of harry and stated as well as i could without breaking down.

"Draco's gone."

"What?" Asked Dumbledore.

"He's gone, Voldemort took him, he sent this parchment and owl, and when Draco opened the letter he vanished." After that the Golden Trio started yelling at me going into a long tirade.

"Well good, glad ferret boy is gone, maybe now school will be easier to stomach, it's surebloody hell going to be quieter."

"Ronald! Be nice, Malfoy hasn't said anything to you at all this year."

"Yea but it's not all that long in is it? He hasn't really had enough time to be the ferret that he is."

"Honestly Ron."

"Will you two just shut up!" This from the golden boy,

"Forget malfoy and focus, Pettigrew took Seamus and Ginny or does your sister matter so little to you that you will forget her the moment something bad happens to Malfoy?"

At that Weasley looked down his ears red and Granger just smiled. I just stared at them.

"Wait, but Draco, I need Draco back Voldemort with _KILL HIM_!"

"We don't care about Draco, Seamus and Ginny are more important." Again from the golden boy and at that I lost it, they may not have cared but I did and I lost what little sane part of me was left and just started screaming.

" FUCK SEAMUS, FUCK GINNY, AND FUCK YOU THREE! You'll save the entire wizarding world but refuse to help one person you don't like? Your fucking **_HYPOCRITES_**! And don't deserve to evensave a flobberworm, you disgust me!"

"But Malfoy—"

" Is better than you will _ever_ hope to be you fucking hypocritical bastards, and if you won't help then I'll do it myself" When I was done I looked at Dumbledore who just looked back sadly.

"What?" I demanded.

Again he just looked at me, "speak up you want to say something and I know it so just say it!"

Dumbledore sighed and sadly he looked old, older than anyone should ever look but it didn't matter all that mattered was getting an answer so I could get Draco back.

"You understand miss Ravenscroft, that if you do this then you will be forever a cast out of the wizarding world, you will be hated by all and seen as dirt on others shoes if you rescue Draco"

Quizzically I looked at the old man and asked him what he meant by this.

Again he sighed " Raelyn there is a dark magic where you are about to go and you will do something there that will forever change yourself and the world, depending on the choice you make you will either save this world and the muggle one or you will completely annihilate them both. But sadly either way you choose, you will be hated by all because there will be horrible repercussions from both choices." Dumbledore sat back looking at me sadly, he already knew my mind was made up.

" I will take the consequences whatever they may be, I don't care about the rest of the world they have hated me before and they can wholly hate me now it doesn't matter only Draco does."

Dumbledore nodded at this knowing it was my answer and smiling again handed a sword with Godric Gryffindor carved into it to Potter, then looking at me once more said "choose wisely my dear Ravenscroft your going to need some kind of strength for the battle ahead" As he started to nod I just smiled, a slightly crazed smile and I felt my powers surge through the room, and my aura started to glow, in true Slytherin fashion it glowed and pulsed a bright neon green with the deepest of blacks etched around it.

I was told later by the golden boy that the iris of my eyes turned into deep green snakes that slithered around into the darkness that my pupils had become. I also learned later that only a Slytherin decendent could havehad this power. But as my eyes changed and my powers grew the sword around my neck that had Draco's name on it started to glow red and I knew at that time I had to take the Golden Trio with me. I grabbed Potter, Weasley grabbedPotter and Granger grabbed Weasley. A moment later the sword started to quiver and I said aloud in a voice that was not my own, a voiceas sweet as the high notes on a piano and asclear as a bell, Draco Come see me, at the and I added a whispered please and a split second later we all disappeared, flying through an unknown abyss into a yet unknown destination to save the people we all truly loved.

And that is as far as I have right now, I love this fic a lot so I am definitely going to continue with it I actually wrote chapter 2-6 today during school. So expect a lot more to come tomorrow, and even if im not finished with the fic tomorrow I will be soon. I really love how my first fic is working out well later dayz,


	7. Fighting Old Demons

**Chapter 7,**

**Fighting Old Demons.**

Ok you should all know this but I don't own harry potter, I own my character, Raelyn Ravenscroft, I own the plot and a few fucked up words in this fanfic, so don't sue me, at least not until I DO own harry potter, cause then I would have lots of money to pay you bastards off with heh. Anyway onto the fic.

As the golden trio and I spiraled through the darkness it seemed I could I _feel_ everything around me, it made me laugh how weasley whimpered like a child every time a rush of cold air formed around us. After what seemed like forever though it got old and I was ready to stab him with my now sharply grown nails. But just as it seemed the darkness would last forever we fell into a dim, dank, dungeon like room. In the far reaches, past the stone walls we were confined in you could here people screaming as if being tortured. As my hearing had become so acute I could hear their flesh being torn away and peeled off of them while the others couldn't. I guess the trio should count it as a blessing, mostly since, they didn't have to endure the sickly popping, scraping sound and as the skin fell away from muscle and bone, just listening to it felt like torture. Blocking the sounds out as best as I could I looked around for Draco, or a door.

What I found was not what I had expected. In a corner of the room was a little child, it had bright blond almost white hair and pale skin. The child was wearing torn clothes where it looked as if the cloth had been torn by a whip. And underneath the tears were long, ragged, bloody slashes. To see this child crying and curled into themselves so ragged made me sick. I approached this child with the thought to help it, but as I touched a part of its shoulder that wasn't wounded I wanted to scream. Before me was Draco, a younger maybe 7 year old version of him but none the less Draco. He was looking at me with big beautiful blue eyes as if begging me to just kill him and end it. I couldn't kill him though, instead I reached my hand out to touch his small bruised cheek, but the moment I touched him he vanished. I started crying, slowly weeping for him to have such a horrible past, but I had no time since far off I heard an ear piercing scream.

I started running toward the noise, I knew they were close but I was surprised at what I found. Once again, it was another Draco only he looked about twelve and _very_ mad. He was pummeling Granger screaming like a madman.

" Filthy mudblood, you disgust me, you and Dumbledore, crazy old bastard letting mudbloods like you in, you don't deserve to be at that school none of you do!"

I stood there horrified, this was a side of Draco I had never seen, mostly because he knew things like that disgusted me. As I watched in horror I saw Weasley and Potter trying to pull him off Granger. I could sense though this was not Draco and they could never get rid of him, they would just die in the process, so I kicked Potter and Weasley in their ribs making them spill onto the floor. They started to scream as me but stopped when they saw me hug the fake Draco and he immediately disappeared, as did all traces that he had attacked Granger. They all just sat up and stared at me as if I had grown another head, which at this point, I would not have been surprised.

"What?" I growled at them, "you would have _DIED_ if I had not helped, so why are you looking at me like that?"

"Blimey, how did you do that?" This from Weasley, I just sighed

"It wasn't the real Draco, and if you know he is not the real one he will disappear the moment you touch him."

"We knew he wasn't the real one, he was too nice to be Draco but he _felt_ real" This from Granger.

"And that is why he didn't leave, because he _felt_ real. Now lets go, were wasting time, Draco or your friends could be hurting, why don't we work together for now and fight for our friends and go back to hating each other later?"

"We don't hate you, just Malfoy." Potter said.

"That shouldn't matter right now, or ever, you should always help others."

"True, we will help, but only now, later ferret boy will still be hated."

I nodded quietly and started walking toward the only door in the room, at the end of a long darkened corridor.


	8. Snake of the Heart

**Chapter 8,**

**Snake of the Heart.**

Again I don't own potter just the plot, some words, and my own character so just read dammit!

I knew it was a dungeon corridor, almost every step you took you could hear the hollow crunching of skulls and a dank rotting scent was heavy in the air. Weasley was again simpering like a child, I should have killed him, and I would have too If I had not reached the door first. The door was glowing brightly with dark magic and I could tell this was what Dumbledore had warned me about, this was the true test, if I continued on I would be hated by all forever. Would I care or would I not? What would happen when I went through that door, would not the golden trio be hated too? I did not have too much time to think on this because I had become enraptured by a glowing silver metallic snake, that had slithered down the door and curled around the knob barring its deep green fangs at me. I stared in wonder at this dear snake slowly reaching my clawed hand out towards it. At least I did, until Granger grabbed my hand pulling it back away from the snake.

I turned ready to slash open her throat, but as soon as I looked away I came to my senses and listened as she talked.

"Raelyn, you Mustn't touch or look at that snake if you do you will be mesmerized by it. That snake is called the snake of heart, and the moment it bites you everyone who does not love you deeply or like you in some way will see you no longer, they will hate you and turn away from you as if you were scum on their shoes."

I smiled sadly seeing that I was right about the door.

"I understand, but I feel I would rather save the one I love and be hated by all others rather then let Draco and your friends die and be hated by their families and friends, for I had been selfish, I have to do this, no one else but me."

And it seemed, in that moment, I saw admiration glimmer in all their eyes as I started to reach for the door knob again.

I silently hoped that it would not hurt too bad, that I would be able to save Draco and the people who I knew would soon hate me. Without thinking more I quickly grabbed the handle and the snake bit me. It felt as if I were floating, I felt so happy and warm, faces of the people I loved swirled around me, Draco, my family, my few friends it was bliss. But in an instant their smiles turned to scowls and all the happiness drained away, and I was left feeling sad, lonely and hollow. That was when I came back to myself and opened the door to find a circle of death eaters and behind them Lord Voldemort torturing Draco and the others.

Automatically the golden trio rushed in flinging hexes and dropping death eaters like flies. Without thinking I rushed toward Voldemort casting a dark arts curse Draco had taught me only weeks ago. I hit him, he fell to the floor curled into a ball just as a scared child would and I watched as he tried to move, that whip slashes and random curses started afflicting him. I smiled evilly as I knelt to help Draco. I kept smiling as the trio advanced on Voldemort ready to kill him. But right before they got to him he disappeared, pain and all. Then the questions began.

What curse was that you may ask? Well I own the random word that it is called just to let you know, but you'll find out in the next chapter so be patient! Laterz.


	9. The Hatred Begins

**Chapter 9**

**The hatred Begins.**

You know the deal by now just start reading.

"Bloody hell, what was that?"

"That was koremio ut us a curse that works like karma, it brings back every wound or pain a person ever did to someone else and gives it back to them three times worse. I love this curse, it never kills and depending on the person, hurts worse then crucio."

The trio just kept staring at me then turned away with a look of disgust.

"Whatever we saved Ginny and Seamus lets get out of here."

As I started to unchain Draco I watched them turn to leave.

"And how exactly are you going to get back to school?"

They all stopped to stare at me.

"We will get back the way we came."

Oh yes that is simple.

"You came with me remember?"

At this they started glaring daggers in my direction.

"We did not, you came with ferret boy and we came by ourselves."

Again they turned and kept walking away.

I sighed quietly and continued to unchain draco, so much for not hating me.

"Why did the golden boy, mudblood and weasel come?"

"Their friends were here and I had to bring them."

"Ok so what is with the weird eyes, claws and well your whole new look?"

"I changed when I let my powers surge through the room, I don't exactly know why."

"Ok."

I smiled and picked Draco up looking for a way to get to Dumbledore's when I saw a fireplace with floo powder. I stepped in with a handful of powder and shouted

"Dumbledore's office"

We started spinning through the grates, I was glad though that it didn't take long to get to the office, at least for a while until I saw who was there. Potter, Weasley, And Granger were all there. Their friends had already been taken to the hospital so I started walking that way when Dumbledore stopped me, and I turned around.

"Miss Ravenscroft, please, sit down you look exhausted."

"No," I said, "I must help Draco first then I will accept my punishment, for now, I am going to the hospital wing."

I turned back and started walking again but all of a sudden I felt tired and dizzy, falling to the ground, I passed out.

Chapter was short I know, but :-p I don't care so there. Heh until next time, later dayz,


	10. Little Raven in a cage

**Chapter 10**

**Little Raven In A Cage.**

Just a forenote. Most of this crap comes from my subconscious, so if there is pain and retribution involved (like in this chapter) that usually means I feel bad for something I have done, or I want to hurt someone else. But with this I am begging so it means I feel like shit, currently with my boyfriend, I feel like I have been horrible to him and I don't know how or even if I can fix it. Mostly because I suck at explaining myself. Unless I write anyway I must go now later dayz,

Raelyn!

I woke up about a week later in the hospital wing. My head throbbed and everything seemed much too bright. I looked around to see no one else. I held my hand up and smiled, well, as least one thing went back to normal. I sighed and started to sit up, it was hard, especially since I had to ignore the sharp pains running through my skull with every movement. Again, I looked around. On the floor there were various vials of used potions and some ragged bloody bandages. I looked at my arms and saw new tiny scars that I had not made. Oh well.

I looked around again looking for madam Pomphrey. I wonder if she hates me too, she was always nice and seems to like everyone, but you can never really be sure though. I opened my mouth to try and call to her but no sound came out. I touched my throat but it felt like there was nothing wrong. I couldn't understand it. Sighing again I laid back down and once again fell into an oblivion of nothingness, at least I did, until the nightmares started...

I was sitting in a cold dark room, shackled to a wall. I looked around I felt a sense of dread creeping around me and I started to scream for help.

"Please, help me, somebody, ANYBODY!_"_

Then I heard a wicked laugh. It seemed to float in and around me as if on a breeze. The laugh would have been sweet and beautiful if not for the evil it promised to bring with it. I looked around both hoping and fearing this would maybe be my salvation but then suddenly, the sound stopped?

"Hello," I said weakly, "Please, someone, help me, I'm scared, please!"

What came out of the shadows was not what I had expected.

Draco walked out of the darkness, and he was not alone, behind him, was Voldemort.

"Hello little Raven." He smiled manically walking up to me with a predators gait.

"You know that whole curse you threw at me back in the dungeons was quite successful, I was tortured for about two days then when that scum rat pettigrew finally took off the curse I was bed ridden for a few more days. You know it's not easy having a few hundred killing curses used on you but not dying."

Again he smiled that creepy blood freezing evil smile and approached me reaching his hand out to touch my face. I turned away shuddering.

"Awww, is my little Raven scared?" He asked sarcasm dripping on every word as he leaned up into my face speaking quietly in my ear.

"Good, be scared, I am going to torture you worse than you could ever imagine, and there is no escape until I give you one." At this he smiled against my cheek, "And who knows when that will be."

I bit my lip to keep from crying, he leaned back still smiling manically as he ran his jagged nails down my face leaving dark puffy red lines.

"And you know little Raven, that could be a very, very, long time."

I looked down but when I did I knew it was the wrong thing to do because I never saw him draw his hand back, never saw the ice forming around it until he hit me. I thought my scream would wake the dead, or at the very least myself, but neither happened. And that was just the beginning, there was so much more to come and it was all so much worse.


End file.
